Things I wish I knew
A curious mind never at rest
I wish I knew how to grow basil. I try, and I try, but try as I might I kill it every time. Once too dry that it withered, scorched by the sun. The next time, my overambitious zeal drowned the germinating seeds. I haven’t found the happy medium, but I wish I knew that.
I wish I knew how to properly tie shoes so the laces don’t come untied. Seriously, the bane of my existence -- and the existence of anyone who has ever traveled with me as I bend over to tie my sneakers on multiple occasions. Whatever happened to Velcro? Why did I outgrow Velcro at age 8? Bring back the velcro.
I wish I knew how butterflies come to be. I mean, I get the whole cocoon and chrysalis thing, but - what actually happens? How does goo become a transparent feather of perfection? How can I get that glow-up?
I wish I knew French. My French is steadily improving, but I really knew it—to get cultural idioms or references. For that matter, I wish I knew Spanish and German too. And maybe a little Chinese.
I wish I knew more about physics. I tried. I really did. But word problems of one train traveling northbound at 60mph passing another traveling south at 75 miles ph, asking me to calculate the speed between them, were never my thing. That question probably makes no sense if you actually know physics, but I never did. But, I’m fascinated by processes of motion and the way things work in the world, so I wish I knew that too.
I wish I knew how to style my hair in perfect waves. Or how to do my nails so the polish doesn’t chip. Or shape them so they don’t look like misshapen extensions on my short fingers. Or if I should get Botox? How do people know these things? Is it YouTube? Did everyone else have an older sister who knew the first thing about hand-care maintenance and I didn’t? I feel behind in primping, and I’d like to know those things too. Not to keep up with society, but I recognize my own vanity, and I’ve accepted it.
I wish I knew more about search algorithms and robots. Also, what the hell are cookies?
I wish I knew more about astrology, or crystals, or tarot. But, I’ve now lived in LA for 3 years, so I’m bound to know soon.
I wish I knew what my dogs were saying. I know they were communicating something, but I could never interpret their barks. I wish I knew the difference between “I Love You” and “Feed me,” though it’s honestly likely those were one and the same. Maybe I’ll get to know one day.
I wish I knew when to say goodbye. I hold onto things too long - people, objects, dreams - so long that, sometimes they don’t serve me anymore. I wish I knew how to let things be, appreciating them for what they were, but not holding onto what they can’t be anymore. That would save a lot of pain.
I wish I knew how to know. I wish I knew what the right answer was. How to trust my gut. I wish I trusted that I knew. But there are so many options, so many paths, so many “what ifs”. Does one ever really know? And, once you do know, are you ever sure that you know? There are people who know out there. People who unapologetically stick to a decision. I second guess myself so much that I’ve been on ulcer watch since age twelve (something I wish I didn’t know). Maybe I’ll never develop knowing. Maybe that’s not the point, maybe I need to guess and trust the guessing along the way.
I wish I knew Betty White. I think we would have gotten along well.
Ten things this week
In the theme of things I wish I knew, I’m sharing a bit of what I know about, things I’m getting to know about, and what I’d like to know about. I’d love to hear your list!
I love trivia night. When I was teaching, I went to a weekly “Geeks Who Drink” trivia night with some colleagues—we were the aptly named “Teachers Who Drink”. Covering a wide array of specialties (everything from history teachers to a science teacher who has a PhD in soil science), we often came in 1st or second. I was our resident pop culture expert for everything but current music.
Speaking of trivia, one of my favorite podcasts is “Go Fact Yourself” on Maximum Fun. Among other games, their guests choose 3 topics unrelated to their jobs on which they have a lot of knowledge, and the team creates a bespoke quiz and brings on someone who is an “expert” in that topic to speak to it. If I was on it, my topics would be teaching the adolescent treble voice, Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot books, and “The Nanny”.
While it is no longer in production, I also loved the trivia podcast “Ask Me Another”, and it’s archive is worth a listen.
I would say I’m fairly knowledgeable about the pantheon of Mel Brooks movies. In fact, we’re currently covering them on “Best Line/Worst Line”.
As I have mentioned, I am brushing up on my French. I enrolled in a class with Coucou, a French language school with physical locations in New York and LA, but they also have classes online. C’est super chouette!
I am in a constant state of learning guitar. My current favorite jam is “Jolene” by Dolly Parton. These YouTube videos are great for beginners!
I credit Chopped for teaching me that fats need an acid for balance and other cooking tricks. Samin Nosrat’s Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat also came in clutch.
Recently added to my long list of things I’d like to learn: Chess. I’ve never learned. I like logic and puzzles though, so I think I’d enjoy it (or become overly competitive at it and only like it if I’m winning).
I’m fascinated by stories of women that are often glossed over in history class (which, unfortunately, is most of them). I recently finished, Code Girls, and it was incredible. I’m currently looking for my next read about historical badasses. Suggestions welcome.
Stars amaze me. Not celebrities, but those in our night sky. I have always been intrigued by the grandeur of space—I don’t think I will ever know a fraction of what is out there, but it’s great to look into the sky and dream.
That’s it for this week. I hope you take sometime to wonder :)
Melanie