Routines
Or "On Tyranny of the Clock"
I used to think I was really good at routines.
In college, I would work out with my best friend Anna 3 days a week at 7 AM. I would go to my classes at their designated times and promptly head to my spot in Oppenheimer Café to do whatever work I had to do. I spent so much time in Oppenheimer that one of my professors was concerned when I wasn’t there.
In teaching, I always began the year with a strict routine:
I would get up at 6:00 AM…ish…get myself dressed and put makeup on (sometimes), grab breakfast on the go, and head to school where I would teach my classes: two 90-minute classes on Blue Days, three 90-minute classes on Blue Days.
Each class had a structure:
Begin with warmups, then move on to sight reading and rhythm reading, then move into the bulk of the rehearsal—rehearsing our pieces as divided by the Fibonacci sequence. We’d continue rehearsal right up to the bell.
This started in earnest at the beginning of the year, but as the year got busier, my wakeup time got later and later, my makeup got less and less (something that current Melanie would never sacrifice), and my strict rehearsal plan was only achieved by the help of the timer app on my phone. I quickly learned that as I got stressed, I was less inclined to stick to a routine.
Once the pandemic hit, routines were out the window for everyone. I still had classes in the first part of the pandemic, but they were asynchronous and all I had to do was assign things by a certain point. I know I wasn’t alone in this, but this lack of structure and “normalcy” sent me into a spiral. I had been living and breathing routines for 25 years—I didn’t know how to react to the absence of boundaries.
Three years later, I have learned that strict routines aren’t really my thing. I like the idea of a routine—guideposts if you will, but guideposts made out of pliable material.
I attribute this in part to my Capricorn moon (liking structure), Sagittarius rising (needing spontaneity), and Libra sun (needing balance). Some routine is good—I want to know where my paychecks are coming from and have an idea of what my week will look like, but if I start to feel too boxed in, I’ll rebel pretty quickly.
Similarly, if I establish a goal of a routine—like journaling before bed every night, working out in the morning, keeping the exact same skincare regimen—I’ll get disappointed with myself if I miss a day or mess up the routine. Then, it will be harder for me to pick it up again because I’d feel like I’ve let myself down. I had that same feeling when I missed sending this newsletter out the first time.
I learned recently that this relationship to routine is pretty common for people with ADHD (which I also recently learned I have). Discovering that has allowed me to establish a different understanding of what routines mean for me and how I can set myself up for the most success.
Currently, I am planning things based on the energy I have and using that to guide my schedule. It changes daily, so if I plan a strict timeline, I set myself up to be disappointed. Rather, if I have intentions of what I’d like to accomplish in a day, I have found that I am more likely to do what it is I intend to do—even if it wasn’t when I intended to do it. Furthermore, I find more joy in a task because it doesn’t feel like a chore (unless it’s cleaning the shower, which always feels like a chore).
There are some parts of my routine that I cannot change, like my weekly meetings or deadlines for projects, but planning work around my energy has been invaluable for my productivity, work quality, and enjoyment of my job. I even find that I am more energized throughout the day if I allow myself to be more flexible. Maybe it’s that I know I’m not setting myself up to fail.
I think my relationship with routines will be a constant push and pull throughout my life as circumstances will continue to evolve and seasons will continue to change.
For now, I’m glad that I can give myself grace. That workout routine will get done eventually.
Ten Things This Week
While I don’t love routines, I love a planner. It helps me get out of my head and see everything on paper, which makes it much less overwhelming. The Passion Planner is a favorite.
My friend Andrea is the badass business owner of Type C Creative, and she works with people to set workflows that work for them. I highly recommend her newsletter Rebellious Systems if you’re interested in building a mindful and intuitive workflow.
Potentially weird plug, but I got turned onto the Pomodoro Method of time management during the pandemic. It is a game changer.
As an ardent pen-and-paper gal, finding a tech tool to help my productivity/organize my brain, has not been easy. That said, we use Airtable at work, and the KanBan tables allow me to set a schedule of tasks, but move them around as needed. Guideposts with flexibility ✅. (Side note: one of my colleagues uses it for everything, including packing lists).
Meal kits have helped me get into a routine of cooking more, taking the mental work out of deciding what to make for dinner. I really like Home Chef, and they have a great intro offer.
I am also trying Marley Spoon. Their deals are more sporadic, but from what I hear, it’s worth it.
Similarly, protein shakes are my new favorite grab-and-go breakfast, and I always feel like I have energy for my day. This protein powder is my favorite.
One of the few shows I watch weekly, RuPaul’s Drag Race, just wrapped up its season. Luckily for me, Drag Race España just dropped, and it is a delight.
Speaking of Drag Race, Jinkx Monsoon, fresh off her Broadway debut in Chicago, performed “When You’re Good To Mama” at the Drag Race Finale. It is iconic.
The ACLU Drag Defense Fund is doing great work to combat all of the hateful laws that are popping up around the country.
That’s it for this week! Talk to you soon!
Melanie